Something happened in my neighborhood coffee shop a couple
of years back. Two friends turned up at each other’s doorstep every
Tuesday morning, notebooks in hand, not to just catch up, but to intentionally
invest in each other. It was their “Growth Tuesday,” they
said. It occurred to me then how friendship is when we decide to be part
of the adventure.
Friendship, after all, is not about finding somebody to do something with(although
that is a great thing too). You want to have someone around you who knows
you have what it takes, even if you don’t think you do. It’s that nudge
when you’re feeling ready to quit, that push when you break through.
Now let’s see how it plays out on the ground. Because, my friend, this is
not just theory – here is where the stakes are in our walk with faith our own
development.
The Power of Intentional Friendship
First thing’s first: you don’t grow overnight. We, like those coffee shop
acquaintances, have to be mindful. And that can look like this:
Monthly Updates: Make sure you have a specific time to speak with each about
your spiritual and life plans. It can be weekly, it could be monthly, just
stick to it.
Prayer Network: Tell one another about what is going well and what is hindering
you and pray for your area of expansion.
Scripture or Life Discussion Commitment: If it is scripture or more casual lifestyle
learning discussions (kids, pets, sports, current events…whatever) talk about what you are learning. Those
“aha” moments are best with the ones you share!
Set Aim Together: Create BIG SMART dreams, and turn the BIG into SUCCESSFUL
steps. When someone goes, “Oh, how’s that going? can be
incredibly motivating.
But Here’s the Real Talk…
It’s not always comfortable. Growth rarely is. Be a good friend, too,
on the occasion of having to ask: “Well how is your prayer life?”, “How
are you feeling about (insert the
event)?” or “Remember that thing you did? What’s holding you
back?”
I remember Sarah my friend yelled at me for not getting into fights in my
relationships. It hurt a little (ok, a lot) but she was so kind to be that
she made me grow more than I could have on my own.
Practical Steps for Growth-Focused Friendships
Make Room: Build a foundation of trust by being trustworthy and confidential.
Talk When You Have Something to Say: Sometimes people simply have something to
say out loud.
Praise Small Successes: What was their accomplishment this
week? That’s worth celebrating!
Be First Afraid: Open the door to others and be vulnerable first.
Follow Up: Don’t let the conversation die in the trash can. Circle back to
previous discussions.
Faith Foundation
“As iron works on iron, so one man works on another. And this isn’t
just a pretty image – it’s the recipe for good friends. That grinding
isn’t always pleasant but it’s the path of progress.
Your Turn to Grow
I invite you to do one thing today to be a growing friend. Or perhaps
texting that phone number to solidify a regular coffee catch up. Maybe
that’s having that conversation you’ve been waiting for. Regardless of
what, always remember: some of the greatest growth takes place in the context
of close friendship.
Because in the end we’re not going to go it alone. We’re meant to rally
hands, lift each other up, cheer each other on and encourage one another to
have faith and not give up.
And isn’t that what friendship is?
