Embracing Invisible Growth: Finding Strength in Stillness

The coffee maker decides to quit, your car makes a weird noise on the way to work that the radio will not mask, and your boss dumps a last-minute project on your desk. Yeah, we’ve all been there.  On days like these, it’s easy to feel like you’re trudging through quicksand, each step harder than the last.

But then… your phone buzzes. It’s a text from your friend: “Hey, just checking in. How’s your day going?” And just like that, a tiny spark ignites in your chest. 

Someone’s got your back…

Folks, let me tell you, having people in your corner can be a game-changer. It’s like having a personal cheerleading squad, minus the pom-poms (unless that’s your thing, then by all means, bring on the pom-poms! ). These are the friends who lift you up when you’re down, who challenge you to be better, and who remind you of your worth when you’ve forgotten.  Gratitude abounds and and I for one thankful here! 

As I sit here, sipping my (thankfully still functioning) coffee, I’m reminded of a time when my own circle of friends pulled me through various rough, crazy, “I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it” moments. 

Now, let’s talk about this whole “iron sharpens iron” thing. It’s not just a catchy phrase – it’s a powerful concept that’s been around for ages. Sure, it pops up in Proverbs 27:17, but don’t think for a second that this idea is limited to just one faith or philosophy.

Picture this: two swords clashing in an epic duel. With each strike, they’re not just making cool sparks (though that’s pretty awesome too ). They’re actually making each other sharper, stronger, more refined. That’s what good friendships do – they challenge us, push us to grow, and help us become the best versions of ourselves.

This concept isn’t just a Christian thing. It’s a human thing. In Islam, there’s a beautiful saying: “A friend is a mirror.” Meaning, our true friends reflect our best selves back to us, helping us see our potential. In Buddhism, they talk about “kalyana-mitra” or “spiritual friendship” – the idea that our relationships can help us on our path to enlightenment.

Even in the secular world, this idea is everywhere. Think about your workout buddy who pushes you to do one more rep, or that coworker who always asks the tough questions in meetings. They’re sharpening you, making you better, stronger, more resilient. This is something that without it, you can soften, lose effort and not move forward the way you want to spirtually, mentally, and physically. 

But that 5 letter word — “TRUST” 

Alright, let’s get real for a second. As adults, we’ve all been there – trusting someone only to have them stab you in the back. It’s like taking a sucker punch to the gut. Been there, done that, and let me tell you, it ain’t pretty.

There was a time when I got burned bad by someone I thought was a solid friend. No need for the gory details, but let’s just say it was enough to make me want to swear off friendships altogether (the “I hate people” t-shirts) . For a while, I did just that. Figured it was safer to go it alone, you know? No new friends meant no new chances to get sucker-punched.

But here’s the thing. That lone wolf act? It gets old real quick. It’s not how we’re wired. We need that brotherhood, sisterhood that camaraderie.

Then, out of nowhere, dang, a new friend… Didn’t push, didn’t pry. Just a straight shooter who showed up when he said he would. At first, I kept my guard up. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Not happening on my watch.

But this friend proved himself, time and again. He had my back when things got tough. Didn’t gossip about my business. Celebrated the wins and stood by me through the losses.

Slowly, I started to let my guard down. It wasn’t easy – there were times I wanted to bail, to go back to my lone wolf ways. But I stuck it out, and man, am I glad I did. 

Opening up to this new friendship? It was like finally being able to breathe after holding your breath underwater. Reminded me that not everyone out there is waiting to stab you in the back.

So, if you’re out there feeling burned, feeling like you can’t trust a soul – I get it. I’ve walked that road. But don’t give up on people entirely. Be smart, be cautious, but don’t close yourself off. That next true friend might be just around the corner, ready to sharpen you like iron sharpens iron.

Alright, now that we’ve covered the tough stuff, let’s talk about how to move forward. Here’s the game plan:

1. Building Trust: It’s like constructing a house – you start with a solid foundation. Be consistent. Show up when you say you will. Keep your word. It’s not rocket science, but it’s powerful stuff.

2. The Power of Your Crew: Having a solid group of friends isn’t just about having drinking buddies(or shopping buddies…whatever works for you, though that’s a nice perk ). It’s about having a friend who’ll call you out when you’re being an idiot, who’ll help you move without complaining (much), and who’ll have your back when life throws you a curveball. 

3. Being the Friend You’d Want: Want good friends? Be one. It’s that simple. Listen more than you talk (still working on that one but I do listen!!). Offer help before they ask. And IMPORTANT –  if they tell you something in confidence, keep it that way.

4. Strength in Vulnerability: This one’s tricky, especially for guys. We’re taught to be tough, to never show weakness. But here’s the truth – it takes real strength to open up. You don’t have to bare your soul to everyone, but letting your true friends see your struggles? That’s not weakness. That’s courage.

Now, let’s wrap this up:

Look, at the end of the day, we’re all in this together. Life’s too short and too tough to go it alone. Having people in your corner, friends who sharpen you like iron sharpens iron – that’s not just nice to have, it’s essential.

So, take a chance. Open up to that friend that is that friend. Be the kind of friend you’d want to have. It might not always be easy, but I promise you, it’s worth it.

Remember, we’re stronger together. Iron sharpens iron, and a good friend can make you a better person. 

Until next time, this is Patrick Jacobs, reminding you to stay sharp and keep good company.