In early April, a 25-year-old student at Technical University of Mombasa in Kenya went viral for refusing to give his mother a larger portion of his paycheck to cover household expenses. A clip from a local news station interview circulated on social media, with Barack Baraza saying, “There’s a time I told my mother, ‘I am not your husband,’” and “apparently she wanted me to take the responsibility of even educating my brother.”
Baraza’s comment sparked controversy in Kenya, with some defending him and others calling him rude and disrespectful. His mother, Milly Wafula, had separated from a polygamous husband and put Baraza through school with her salary as cleaner at a university. When Baraza landed a part-time job for a radio program during his final year of college, Wafula asked him for money. Baraza told CT he had exaggerated his earnings in previous coverage but in fact had offered her 1,000 Kenyan shillings (about $8 USD) from his 40,000 shilling paycheck (about $310 USD). He said she rejected it, claiming she deserved a larger portion.
Baraza refused, they quarreled, and he moved out of the house in anger. Afterward, relatives called to scold him for ingratitude.
“Everyone was asking why I could send such little money … not understanding that my budget was more than what was on the paycheck,” Baraza told CT.
In Kenya and throughout Africa, older relatives often expect adult children to give up part of their salaries to support the family—known as a “black tax”—as payback for the sacrifices their elders made. In some cases, extended families and even neighbors expect a young adult to meet their basic needs.
Like Baraza, many of Kenya’s Gen Zers are resisting the black tax, preferring to spend the money on their own expenses or save for retirement. Some argue the practice has cultivated a culture of entitlement among older relatives, poor boundaries around money, and emotional blackmail that prevents young Kenyans from succeeding in a stagnant economy. Other say it’s just another way to honor parents.
In 2023, Nigerian soccer star John Obi Mikel drew attention to the concept when he decided to stop giving money to relatives whom he said were taking advantage of him. Mikel said some relatives had threatened to blackmail him if he didn’t send money.
“When you get the money, after you’ve shared it, you’re left with little remaining,” Mikel told Channels Television. “And they keep having so many kids, … but they are looking up to you to look after them.”
Catherine Sitawa, a 27-year-old Christian living in Nairobi, Kenya, has faced the stress caused by the black tax. After completing her bachelor’s degree in 2022, she secured a low-paying contract job doing data collection for a local research company. Sitawa said pressure from her extended family forced her take extra work doing online academic writing: “The whole day [I am] at office; the whole night [I am] on my laptop writing and researching.”
In 2024, Sitawa sunk into depression, overwhelmed by the financial requests of her family, the needs of her own three children, and the strain of loans amassed from supporting her family that she needed to repay.
“My mother wants money for her treatment. My dad wants money to buy farm [supplies]. My cousins pocket money for their children at school,” Sitawa said. “I can’t tell them I have no money.”
Yet other African Christians argue the black tax aligns with biblical concepts. Edwin Musila of Nakuru County described it as a blessing to bless others: “You cannot run away from it. God chose a raven to feed Elijah in the Bible. Some of us are the ravens.”
Musila, 45, owns a phone-repair shop and is the oldest of seven siblings. When one of his sisters died in 2022, she left three children in his mother’s care. He supports their basic needs, and despite only making about 3,000 Kenyan shillings ($23 USD) per day, has also been helping two of his sisters pay for their children’s education through high school.
“I don’t do it because I expect some returns when these children grow old,” he said. “I help because I am in a position [to help]. I am also renovating my father’s house. It makes me happy to support my family.”
Pastor Burton Wanjala from Kitale in Trans-Nzoia County advocated for boundaries between biblical obligations and cultural beliefs. He noted that honoring parents may not always require giving money: Children could also visit their parents frequently and send the grandchildren to stay with them so they have company in their old age.
Wanjala said he’s seen conflicts erupt in cases where parents did not provide for their children’s education or businesses “but are quick to demand help, with threats and curses.”
Yet many young people don’t find work immediately after school and need to try several jobs to gain experience, he noted, which may include low-paying positions. He warns parents against asking their children for money before they’re stable: “With the current economy, it is fair to allow [this] young generation to first establish themselves.”
In some cases, youth resistance to sharing their paychecks has fueled intergenerational resentment. Older relatives may shame the youth for the perceived disrespect. Baraza said his aunts and uncles accused him of neglecting his family. Feeling guilty, Baraza apologized to his mother about his media comments.
“When I asked my mum to forgive me, she told me to give her time to recover and she will tell me the day she will accept my apology,” Baraza said.
A week later, he claims, she still hadn’t forgiven him, so he decided to ignore her phone calls. He told CT he fears his mother will curse him and he isn’t sure if she or any of his relatives will come to his graduation.
In Africa, indigenous beliefs about curses linger even in churches. Many attribute difficulties in life or personal failures to the effects of a curse. Godwin Adeboye, a pastor-theologian with Evangelical Church Winning All (ECWA) in Nigeria, explained in a 2023 interview that many Christians believe curses can pass down to them generationally or through the negative words of spiritual leaders, such as witches and pastors. Some, like Baraza, fear curses from their parents.
Adeboye said that while superficial readings of the Old Testament might seem to support these fears, the gospel shows that “Christians cannot be cursed because Christ has become a curse for us.”
Benedict Watoka, pastor of Livingstone Pentecostal Church in Moi’s Bridge, Uasin Gishu County, said some parents, instead of praying for their children, tell them how to use their paychecks. Though some parents may see curses as a method of control or revenge against uncooperative children, Watoka admonishes parents not to pronounce curses against youth they see as disrespectful.
The pastor said he believes churches need to offer specific teachings to help young people honor their families. When he counsels Gen Zers, Watoka said, he urges them to remember the fifth commandment: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long” (Ex. 20:12).
“I tell them, ‘You should not be eating three meals a day when your parents are starving,’” he said.
During their visits to homes and small groups, Watoka and other elders tell parents to show love to their children beginning in childhood so they grow up following the right path, also showing love to their parents when they become adults. He’s seen too many families divided by resentment.
Wanjala, the pastor from Kitale, agrees these familial conflicts needs to end, and says Christians should not let the black tax divide a household, thus allowing sin to enter.
“We should put more effort in uniting families,” he said.
The post In Africa, Workers Are Expected to Give Money to Parents. Gen Z Is Pushing Back. appeared first on Christianity Today.